The Plaid Epidemic

            I was sitting in a coffee shop doing some writing.  I looked up in thought for a moment and was distracted by plaid.  It was everywhere I looked on every guy sitting in there.  Okay, not every guy, but most of them.  I laughed it off.  A few nights later I was on a double date with a good friend of mine.  Our boyfriends took off their jackets to reveal that, not only were they both in plaid, they were nearly identical shirts.  I should point out that the boys were meeting each other for the first time that day, so there was no “I’ll call you and tell you what I’m wearing” thing going on.  I think only girls do that, and usually so they don’t show up wearing the same shirt they both bought in different colors because it was so damn cute.

            In the coming weeks I started to notice it all over the place.  I started playing a game counting all the plaid shirts on the train.  The final straw came when I saw two kids playing in the park wearing button down plaid shirts.  Neither was older than six years old.  I thought, it has officially gone too far, these are children for goodness sake!

            I am no fool, it came to my attention long ago that dudes do not like to take too much time getting dressed.  It’s not at all that I think plaid shirts are ugly.  To be honest, I used to thank the good divine for plaid button downs.  It seemed that all of a sudden boys were looking less messy, but I am over it.  Fella’s are you aware that stores sell button down shirts that are NOT plaid?  They do exist I promise and you all look so handsome in them!  I know many of you are thinking I am crazy and annoying for complaining but it’s a serious concern of mine.  If I were Oprah, everyone would get a solid button down shirt, perhaps even pin stripped. 

Apocalypse Now!

I have noticed a growing trend lately, both in my summer poetry workshop, amongst the members of my writers’ group, and even on the news.  The apocalypse.  People have become increasingly obsessed with the end of the world.  It has even made its way into my own fiction writing.  I have a theory.

I am a recent college graduate (though quickly becoming not so recent) who is having a hell of a time finding work.  I have got a whole lot of time on my hands and no money to spend.  My current full time job is looking for work and there is absolutely no reason to believe it will get any better.  I know the economy is bad and there are people far older and wiser who are also looking for work. 

I am convinced if I looked into a crystal ball into my future I would see myself living in a box, hungry, sad, and cold, penning stories onto the sides of my cardboard home.  It’s my very own apocalypse.  Naturally, once I had died of starvation or hyperthermia someone would stumble across my box and publish it all.  It will make tons of money because I am actually rather good.  Actually, that sounds like a pretty good story idea (copywrite!)

In any event I have decided that all of this end of the world, judgment day, apocalypse mumbo jumbo is attributed to the fact that it certainly does feel like the entire world is coming down around us.  Perhaps we could make it work in the opposite direction.  If we all wrote and painted pictures of the sun shining and flowers in mid bloom would it stop raining? 

Mother May I?

Old habits die hard.  Some die harder than others. For me the hardest habit to break is looking to my Mom for an answer.  I rarely make it to the cash register before sending my mom a picture of whatever it is I am thinking about buying, for her opinion.  I still ask permission to go out most times. She never says "no", but she will often say "I'm not going to tell you not to go..."  I know what that really means.

Normally, this does not bother me much.  It is just the way I function, a girl needs her mother.  I realized it might be a slight problem when I instinctively dialed her number when trying to decide which blank (she reads this blog so I can’t say) to get her for Mothers Day.

This conundrum probably stems from the fact that she has never steered me wrong.  In my 22 years of life she has never given me a wrong answer.  More importantly she has never let me walk out of the house looking a hot-mess.  (She has a very distinct eyebrow raise reserved for when your outfit is questionable.)  Why would I stop turning to someone so wise for all the answers?

This weekend, appreciate your Mom. Give her kisses, make her breakfast.  Buy her that thing you know she wants very badly, but she will never buy for herself because it just "isn't practical”.  Chances are she always fears the day you no longer need to call her for the answers.  She has no idea that day will never come.

What do you still call your Mom for advice on?

World - Osama = Peace?

            I am an American, a New Yorker.  Because of this, I share in the joy that we finally got the man who took away my innocence by showing me what evil truly is.  Since 9/11 I (along with many others, I assume) can no longer fly on a plane without having anxiety attacks.  I sometimes find myself staying near by the stairs in the train stations just in case.  On that day a plethora of new fears was born within me and, for a minute after I heard the news of Osama Bin Laden’s death, I breathed a sigh of relief that I had not noticed I was holding for almost 10 years.  My relief did not last long.

            I watched for a few minutes as Americans gathered outside of the White House cheering and celebrating.  My cheerfulness quickly turned into something more complicated and unsettled my stomach.  A million thoughts entered my mind.  How does this make us any better than they were when they celebrated in the streets after 9/11?  What if he planned for this?  Who will step up to take his place?  Where there is a void, something must fill it.  All of a sudden I did not feel any better or safer than I did before I heard the news.

           I know there are millions of people out there who are glad to see him dead, and many feel that the death of all those killed in the September 11^th attacks have finally been avenged.  I agree every bit with all of those feelings, but let’s not be fooled into thinking that this means that we are any closer to a more peaceful world.  Our children will still have to deal with the evils of this world for they will never cease to exist.